Empty Handed

Oh dear. Spunky Richard Hammond has had an accident and the nation has gone mental (more mental than usual, anyway). Heartfelt messages of support have been pouring in from all the nutters who think that he is somehow more deserving of their sympathy than the thousands of others who are injured or suffer some other debilitating or calamitous mishap every day, just because he’s on ver telly. The idiots. This is all the more bizarre because he was injured doing something which is obviously extremely stupid – normally people say things like ‘oh, well, the fucker knew what he was doing, he was bound to hurt himself eventually, I’ve no sympathy…’ etc etc, but in this case the fact that the retarded (huh, that may turn out to be literally true) Top Gear presenter’s engage in progressively more dangerous, reckless (but not wreckless) and inane tasks each week has only encouraged more pathetic whining about how unfair and tragic it all is – never mind the fact that each week the stupid programme sets the cause of RoSPA and Greenpeace back 10 years, whilst simultaneously blowing approximately 20% of the TV licence fee Tax payers budget so that Jeremy fucking Clarkson can bolt a bigger engine onto his knob, or something.

Somebody emailed Sky News – I caught this in passing btw – to say that they couldn’t believe how this could have happened to such a good driver! Fucking hell – he was driving a rocket car for fucks sake – that’s how it happened. No doubt Tony’s mob will move quickly to legislate against TV presenter’s being injured in stupid stunts, or something, just in case people think that it must be a perfectly safe activity since there’s no specific law about not crashing your fire-spitting-turbo bitch into a field at three-hundred miles an hour… The health and saftey executive will hold an enquiry – could this have been avoided (um, let’s see now…) – wasting time and money to come up with a set of guidelines to help protect rich idiots who can’t work out that dangerous activities differ from standard activities in one important way…

Somebody else emailed Sky to suggest that “…that Richard Hammond, he’s just like Steve Irwin, he is”. Huh?

Well, let’s hope that Richard Hammond fans take a leaf out the rabid followers of the late Croc botherer, and go out and smash up loads of fast cars in a bizarre vengeance attack on the instrument of their hero’s downfall.